The Mother- Loving Guide
Do you feel as though you didn’t go into parenting knowing the whole truth? Many of us feel like that when the ‘joy of parenting’ isn’t obvious at 2am in the morning and you’re surviving on two hours’ sleep. But now local mum and entrepreneur, Silke Thistlewood, has done something about it.
Silke Thistlewood founded her business, ‘Raise Up Mums’, in 2018 after her own struggle with postnatal depression and anxiety and being unable to find suitable well-being resources for mothers. She supports women as they adjust to motherhood with realistic self-care and resilience tools, and an online community.
Now, Silke has written a book, The Mother-Loving Guide, which aims to help parents-to-be understand the realities of raising a child. She’s passionate about parents receiving more support during the early years of parenting.
Here’s an interview with Silke to understand more and we ask her to list her number one tip for new parents – let’s face it, when you’re expecting a baby, there are a lot flying round so good to hear one from an expert!
Please tell us about your book.
The Mother-Loving Guide is a ‘heads up’ about the realities of life with a small baby through personal experiences as well as expert voices. It also includes many ways in which you can prepare yourself, your relationships and your life for the arrival of a baby, making the transition into parenthood a little easier to navigate. Its objective is to provide an element of preparation that many antenatal classes miss.
What prompted you to write this book?
At the time of writing the book I was nine years into parenting and still cross about the fact that no one had given me even the slightest indication of how hard motherhood can be. I’d gotten the usual congratulations on our pregnancy and reassurances on how magical it would be to have a baby arrive in our family, but not one person mentioned how hard it was going to be. This would have made all the difference to me because then I wouldn’t have felt such a failure when I struggled. It took me almost two years to find my feet in parenting and I feel if there’d been more honesty going into the experience, it would have given me a very different start.
I wrote the book to give first time parents a heads up about the realities of parenting babies/young kids, as well as a selection of tools, exercises and thinking points to prepare for the journey.
It’s basically the book I wish I’d read before I became a mother.
Tell us about the contributors and how you decided on them.
I wanted the book to have a few different perspectives besides my own and have expert voices supporting my experiences. Over the years I had gotten to know a huge variety of women who created businesses in the mum, baby / pregnancy and post-natal space to fill the gaps in support that they experienced themselves, so I basically got to ask all of my favourite people if they’d like to be involved in the book!
From sleep consultant, Katie Palmer to women’s health physio, Ashling Burke, a post-natal doula, Charlotte Tonkin Edun, and more, there are insights from a variety of professionals ready to support and guide women through this huge transition in their lives.
Who is this book for?
I wrote the book with first time parents in mind, but the sections of the book which aim to prepare parents would be useful for any parent, at any stage and a lot of the experiences shared can simply feel reassuring in a ‘I’m so glad it’s not just me’ way.
What is your biggest tip for new parents?
Not to compare yourself to other mothers and parents. We all have such unique circumstances and values, that we couldn’t possibly compare but it’s very tempting when there is so much content on social media now of mums from all walks of life sharing their own story.
The best thing you can do is give yourself time to adjust and find your own way of doing things that feel right for you. And ask for help and support in whichever shape you need.
Where can we buy the book?
It’s available on Amazon, here and on my own website, here.
Silke is also a massage therapist of 12 years, with a focus on pre- and postnatal treatments, including scar massage for C-sections.
In her spare time, which she’s able to negotiate more and more expertly nowadays, she loves submerging in open water and lifting heavy things, preferably over her head. Silke lives with her husband and two daughters, who are now 7 and 11 years old, in Kent, with their golden retriever puppy Chewie.
Thank you Silke for being so honest with us and in your book. We wish you lots of luck with it!